30 Ashley Tisdale Looks That Left Me Astounded, Astonished, And Straight-Up Agog

Once every generation, the fashion gods bless us mortals with a beacon of style; a supreme being bursting with grace and flair; a singular authority on over-accessorizing and making a STATEMENT.

A painting with a man on a rock and a woman being presented, with angels overlooking

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Some might call them an icon, a star, a visionary, or a trailblazer. I just call her Ashley Tisdale.

Closeup of Ashley Tisdale

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Oh, that I have the words to adequately describe this woman and her entirely unique visage. Though I might fail, I must try:

A-A+ styles.

S– Sass.

H-Hawth. Haute. hot.

L– Light in this world of darkness.

E– Example, shining.

Y– You better wear those jeans under that skirt!

Q– Trendy.

I Iconic.

S– Simply outrageous.

D– Dead-on every time, girl!

A– Ahead of her time.

L– Look at those clothes!

E– Everyone WISHES!!!!!!!

I try in vain to capture the whole of her beauty and importance using my lowly verbiage, so let these 30 images convey the stature of a woman who ruled 2000s fashion with a different fist.

1.Ashley came to this earth to teach us all a lesson in maximalism, and teach us what she has.

Ashley Tisdale on the red carpet

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2.Just when you think you’ve layered enough, Ash says, “One more piece.”

Ashley Tisdale on the red carpet

Michael Tran Archive / FilmMagic

3.Ashley can do anything a man can do. Wear pants? Pshh, no problem. And she’ll do it while wearing a dresses.

Closeup of Ashley Tisdale

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4.Here’s a hot tip: Buy jeans meant for a 7.5-ft.-tall woman so you can cuff them all the way up to your knees.

Ashley Tisdale on the red carpet

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I bet before today you didn’t realize that a Jem and the Holograms vintage tee paired perfectly with a silk blazer and sequin beanie hat. Don’t you feel like an idiot?

Closeup of Ashley Tisdale

J. Merritt / FilmMagic

5.Going out on the town? Don’t forget to wear your most practical sweater and grab a full-ass duffle bag!

Ashley Tisdale on the red carpet

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6.Did you think there was only one fur sash in Ashley’s wardrobe? That would be preposterous!!!! Get your head out of your ass!!!!!

Ashley Tisdale on the red carpet

Michael Caulfield Archive

7.When I’m ready for bed, this is what I want to wear:

Ashley Tisdale on the red carpet

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Don’t get the pants ribbons yet? I FEEL EMBARRASSED FOR YOU!

Ashley Tisdale on the red carpet

Amanda Edwards / Getty Images

8.Belts should always be at LEAST 1/4 of the size of your shorts, and vests should be so small you’re not sure how they’re staying on.

Ashley Tisdale on the red carpet

Stephen Shugerman / Getty Images

9.If you’re wearing a dress, however, your belt should almost be under your crotch. Got it?

Ashley Tisdale on the red carpet

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10.When in doubt, raid your auntie’s closet and pick out something from that time she wanted to “be more like the short-haired lady in Mamma Mia!

Ashley Tisdale on the red carpet

Frederick M. Brown / Getty Images

11.If your hair doesn’t mimic your skirt, are you even doing fashion?

Ashley Tisdale on the red carpet

Lawrence Lucier / FilmMagic

12.You might not know this, but Ann Taylor is a wonderful place for teen girls to pick up a couple of nice pieces.

Ashley Tisdale on the red carpet

Stephen Shugerman / Getty Images

13.A skirt? Basic. Jeans? Basic. A skirt over jeans? INSPIRED. AMAZING. DEFYING GENRES. TASTEFUL. BOUNDARIES BREAKING.

Ashley Tisdale on the red carpet

Jon Kopaloff / FilmMagic

Ashley is so incredible, she even made up a new chord on her piano purse.

Closeup of Ashley Tisdale

Jon Kopaloff / FilmMagic

14.Don’t limit yourself to just denim under skirts. How about a nice pair of slacks downstairs for the next time you have a formal event.

Ashley Tisdale on the red carpet

Mark Mainz / Getty Images

15.Don’t be afraid of a giant, bedazzled guitar with wings that’s literally so heavy it’s pulling your dress down.

Ashley Tisdale on the red carpet

Michael Tran Archive / FilmMagic

16.There’s not a boot too high or a vest too short to keep Ashley from getting into fashion.

Closeup of Ashley Tisdale

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17.She may be dropping her waist, but she is never dropping the ball on being the best dressed!

Ashley Tisdale on the red carpet

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18.Ashley is ready for any occasion. Game-ball sport? Ash has just the ensemble!

Closeup of Ashley Tisdale

Gregg Deguire / WireImage

19.The average person wouldn’t think, “Hmm…you know what this dress needs? Bare feet!” But Ashley is far from average.

Closeup of Ashley Tisdale

Michael Bezjian / WireImage

20.Yeehaw, cowgirls! Put on your shiniest shrug and get on down to the rodeo!

Ashley Tisdale on the red carpet

Jesse Grant / WireImage

21.Now, you might think lace on lace would be a no-no, but Ashley says yes-yes.

Closeup of Ashley Tisdale

Christopher Polk / FilmMagic

22.Honestly, if I had a pair of pants with a waistband that went all the way up to my norps, I’d be pretty jazzed.

Closeup of Ashley Tisdale

Michael Loccisano / FilmMagic

23.Here’s Ash laying out the blueprint for Demi Lovato Knees.

Ashley Tisdale on the red carpet

Jean Baptiste Lacroix / WireImage

24.Sometimes a girl feels most comfortable with brown leather covering up roughly 50% of her body.

Ashley Tisdale on the red carpet

Jon Kopaloff / FilmMagic

25.Let’s count the accessories here, shall we?

Ashley Tisdale on the red carpet

Jon Kopaloff / FilmMagic

26.AMEHP (Always make Ed Hardy proud.) Remember that, ladies!

Ashley Tisdale on the red carpet

Jon Kopaloff / FilmMagic

27.Don’t be afraid to leave people a little confused. Is it a shirt? Or, is it a dress? The world may never know! That’s a little secret meant just for you!

Ashley Tisdale on the red carpet

Jason Kempin / FilmMagic

28.Presented with no comment. Like, how could I even?

Closeup of Ashley Tisdale

Michael Tran Archive / FilmMagic

29.Going to a Golden Globes party? Why not wear something like this? That’s what Ashley did!

Closeup of Ashley Tisdale

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30.And if you remember nothing else, remember this: “THOU SHALT SPEND!!!!!!” OK, girlies?

Ashley Tisdale on the red carpet

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Thank you for your service, Ashley Tisdale. The world would be much more boring without you in it. I would absolutely push someone else in front of a bullet for you.

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